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Judging Others = JUDGEMENT.

I was going to kick off my New Year's post being silly, like I love to be. I don't care what anyone says, I'd rather be laughing, than crying, or whining, or complaining, or... and here's one I once upon a time did have on my New Year's resolution list, and to this very day call myself on all the time.

It's very difficult to completely not judge. It's one of the very reasons that makes our wonderful dictionary so useful. Words would have no meaning without this factor, whether we are judging people, places, or things. What I'm saying is we must compare this to that to make that, that. Red is not red, unless you know what yellow, and purple, or blue is. She is not tall unless we know what short is. Beautiful is not beautiful, until we come to know ugly. This is stuff I used to really think about as a child.

But now I'm all grown, and must remind myself to not let this judging thing innate to our existence go overboard. I must keep it in check, which below is what tops my list of how I keep things in check.

1. Humbleness. I remind myself that when I start seeing everyone else as this, what I am saying is I am all that. I prefer not to be all that, because all that chalks up to be the best way to stretch an ego out of its natural shape... an unbecoming trait to possess.

2. That finger pointing thing. This was one that stuck with me a long time... someone saying, and I may have been in church when I first heard it... that when I'm pointing a finger at someone else, four fingers are pointing right back at me. Imagine that one. Sit with that vision too long and you could very well become the least judgmental person of all creations.

3. Perception. Sometimes there are truly people, and things, that make it very difficult not to judge. When this happens, and this is no excuse by far, but I go deep into thought, coming up with the understanding that there are illnesses, medical conditions, and a host of offbeat reasoning's, to include that one penchant that persistently evades many of us. That one penchant is perception. In this case, I may preclude myself from associating with those things I do not wish to understand, but in that same proclivity I try to not to judge it.

4. Takes One, to Help One. Oh man, I should've listed this one first. One of my greatest lessons learned was when I worked for a firm that pressed finding solutions as opposed to pointing out problems. To date, soon as I start to open my mouth to state something that's going against my grain, I zip it up tight if I can't see a resolution. (...or maybe vent in private where I hope not to be heard).

5. Forgiveness. I have to remind myself, if I want to be forgiven for the things I do and say that come off the cuff accidentally, or in one of my more harried moments of brash rashness, or as when I'm going through some things, or like every one of goes through... growing up, learning, and maturing, then I must be willing to forgive others.

6. Beauty. Beauty is a trademark in the eye of the beholder, which in this beholder's eye, judging with reckless abandon is not attractive. ← And yes, that's a heavy piece of judgment right there, but it is one of the barometers I use to keep myself in check.

Please join me to kick this New Year off right. On my menu, other than today's meal; Black-eyed peas, collard greens, potato salad and a Honey Baked Ham, I have... YIKES... four brand new titles coming out!!!

A mystery (oh dear Lord what was I ever thinking to attempt this one... but I did it!); A fun-fun friendship novel (loads of fun to write); An annotated collection of poetry (must keep a pulse on my ramblings and poetry); and of course Series V of the Rhapsody Series.


Disclaimer: Total writing & illustration time: 45 minutes.


  1. Hi, RYCJ!
    Enjoyed reading this post. Lots of food for thought. Good luck with all of the new projects in 2012. What a full plate!
    ~Regina. rys

  2. Hi Regina,
    It's good to know I am among like company. That comment you left on SHE WRITES made my day. And yes, I think I kind of stacked a few things on my plate higher than anticipated. ~ ;-)

  3. Hello RycJ,
    My first book is @ "Sinful Traits"

    My second book "Secret Affair" is coming out this month @

    I writing an extended version to "Suspicion"

    Thanks for asking.

  4. hey R. Lovely and insightful post. I hope you had a great holiday. Happy New Year

  5. Thanks Miss M

    ...and hey Wendy, thanks! Just stopped by your blog and realized I've got to switch over... like you! Happy New Year.


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