Connecting the Dots and Missing the Point
When getting at truths is not important, then sugarcoating, toning down and outright lying suffices.
Thanks to my wonderful father and his wide embodiment of sobering advice, one parcel of wisdom I learned from him is how to spot a sincere person. He said this person will be direct and frank, and prone to getting on your everlasting nerves for being too loud and telling almost all of their business. Funny, though that revelation has served me well. One thing about a loud person is, you always see... and hear them... raw honesty right in your face.
I was motivated to write this post however, after reading Dr. Washington’s Driven to Succeed memoir. (review here).
The story Aunt Hattie shared took me back to a speaker event where another author had been invited to share her memoir (with a corporate audience). Her memoir was about parents who raised a large number of children, successfully.
I wrote “large number” because I forget the exact number of children born to the parents, but I never have forgotten the question one executive asked the author.
Since the memoir centered squarely around children raised to respect themselves and others with few material means, (the catalyst the author attributed to catapulting them into colleges and successful careers), the executive then wanted to know how could parents raise the same values in children who ‘had everything’ or where no struggle was present?
I’ll never forget the author’s expression. The question stumped her.
In high-sight of many who have worked very, very hard at the risk of naively depreciating the value of struggle, in favor of making things easier... faster… finding riches quicker... and younger… having more… living the ‘me, me, me’ to the hilt...A critical question had been asked!
Difficult as struggle is to dress up, I appreciate the value in struggle. As another axiom I used to hear often... that one where folks used to say "this is going to hurt me far worse than you..." This is the reason I write very, very frank Adult books. I want adult readers connecting the dots... and thinking. I do not want another child to have to live in circumstances where they are hurt, abused, molested, raped, or neglected... environments that exist in both affluent and poverty stricken homes. There are enough challenges in life, which sugarcoating and toning things down makes it far too easy to miss this critical point.