Pitching One-Liners

I am (or was?) the absolute, Dear God…Please help me…the worst at mix and mingles. And the reason (since figured out), is because I’m terrible at pitching one-liners.

One-liners are something like elevator talk, only aggravated by however many minutes you spend sweating it out hoping the elevator doors hurries and open up. Still not sure if I have all the kinks worked out, but I think I’m pretty close. I know I need to be brief, but now I just need to figure out exactly how to say it tidy, of course at the drop of a hat, and again…nicely. I’m thinking though, there has to be a reason I’m not naturally equipped to do this, but then too, if it doesn’t come to me pretty, in one line, then I can always smile and maybe compliment a portrait on a wall. Thank goodness I figured that out.

Writers, as astute researchers have correctly identified, work best locked in their solitary worlds. But I surprised myself a little today. I got sort of locked into a conversation where I instantly thought to myself, ‘now’s the time to practice on those one-liners.’ I, however, was on the telephone holding this conversation, so there weren’t any distractions I could handily point out, but felt it was the perfect time to get in a little practice. After all, the person I was talking to, I realize, is a person who’s only going to ‘get it’ if I say it succinctly. And of all topics, as it happened to be, we were talking about young people and how they handle sensuality and sex…one of my least favorite topics…at least talking over with this person! I mean, here my ears were being filled up with too much this and that, and all young people don’t understand about love and sex, while my mind tumbled over scrounging up this one-liner that would move the matter along…yes, to another topic!

And then there it came…a one-liner just a moseying along out of nowhere.

“They’re just struggling to understand it…” is what came out. “Them trying to raise the blinds and you trying to pull them down.”

…ut oh. Oh man! Okay, so it was two lines. But those two little lines sure severed one line. I don’t know. Maybe I should check with the phone company to see what happened…:-0