Qualities of an Adult... A Top 10 List

Quite honestly and admittedly this post was somewhat inspired by a television documentary I caught on Toni Morrison (The Pieces I Am). Her voice… her actual voice so surprised me! And I know. After all this time I probably should have sat in on a lecture or two given by she who is only one of the most notable writers in history. And even more pitiful is the assumption I obviously nurtured, given my obvious surprise, what lends to the main reason for this post.

I managed to read three books this month; a most pleasing feat, given the writing projects I’m just wrapping up. Yes, I took a break! I deserved it! I couldn’t wait to get back to reading, and was none too disappointed by my three selections; ‘All You Can Ever Know’ by Nicole Chung (thoughts here), ‘To Tell the Truth Freely’ by Mia Bay (thoughts here), and ‘My Africa, My Home’ by Jennifer Peacock-Smith (thoughts here). All three, plus my assumptions about Toni Morrison’s voice (Resting in Peace), contributed to my thoughts on adult behavior.

Getting right on with it, below is a list of adult behaviors gleaned from teachers, advisors, counselors and actual adults who at various points of my growing up, taught me, or rather tried to teach me how to respect myself... and others.

Again, honestly and admittedly, I used to get so annoyed by educators who just seemed too POLITE! It was like, you’d want to do something, like snatch their dainty pearls off, just to see what reaction you’d get. Nobody can be that cool, calm and collected all-the-time I used to believe.

Except, it’s true.

Adults are POLITE, even when you snatch their pearls off, and by osmosis alone they make you regret it. Maybe not today, but someday...

Adults are HUMBLE. I still recall the adult I once asked in an interview, what advice she would give young people. Her answer surprised me. Despite her living a settled life where it seemed she’d have lots of pearls of wisdom to pass along, the reason I wanted to interview her, she didn’t have one pearl to pass along, unless I count her telling me that she herself was still ‘living and learning’.

Adults are STRAIGHTFORWARD. They don’t insert ta-tas for breast. Peach cobbler for vagina. Or we-we for a penis.

However, in the above vein, Adults use RESTRAINT and are DISCREET. For them, there is a time and a place for everything.

Adults have THICK-SKIN. They have been called names, heckled, laughed at, mocked, bullied and taunted since their days on playgrounds. They are the famous authors of the quote, “two wrongs don’t make a right,” where yeah, my smart aleck butt used to quip right back, “and a wrong and a right don’t make a right either.” Of course, an adult will only smile, confident in the fact she/he is the teacher, and you are the student.

Bringing me to how COMPASSIONATE Adults are. Some may recall that phrase, “this is going to hurt me a lot more than it will hurt you.” Yeah, I used to be skeptical about this one too, the exception being when this phrase was uttered by an Adult invested in helping their young seize the opportunity to not only survive in life, but thrive.

The WISDOM of Adults is matchless. They not only have seen and experienced much, but have survived and thrived through it.

The above attributes is what makes Adults natural LEADERS, a position that can neither be appointed nor self-proclaimed.  Leaders show, not tell. They lead by example.

So, of course, the best saved for last, Adults are ALWAYS RIGHT… even when they’re wrong, because they have no problem admitting their faults and errors.

Let's grow up, educate ourselves, and then get in where we fit in to help move the needle forward.

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