Friday, June 24, 2016

Why My Spellcheck No Longer Works

This post didn’t come out of thin air. Things started stirring after finally figuring out how to add animated emoticons to my Facebook posts. I got to laughing so hard about learning something so ridiculously simple that it led me to thinking about the many things that many may find common knowledge, that happens to be NEWS to me.

Funny, but as late as this afternoon I didn't know what a HACK meant. I remember when cabbies were called hacks, but come to find out (after watching Food Network Star), the word I often frowned on, not enjoying what I assumed it meant, simply means to use things for which they were not intended. Well, I’ll be dern.

Lightbulb turned on bright, my entire life I've been converting everyday items for multiple uses. I've turned plastic bags into raincoats, shower caps, galoshes and more. My silverware can be used as screwdrivers, jar openers, hammers and more too. And the very reason my spellcheck is giving me a headache is because of expanding its use as well.

Just to have a little fun, I figured out why my spellcheck stopped working.

It’s my online dictionary. I’ve done added so many words to it that it just gave up on me.

Important note: It obviously is a pain to be rechecking what the online dictionary should be checking, and totally deflates my ego discovering words I thought I invented, are already in REAL dictionaries. And let's not get into how all of this defeats the purpose...and meaning of any dictionary.

Further to note, and by the way, I’m as happy as a lark posting these TEN, out of thousands of words, that really shouldn’t be getting the little red squiggly lines.

Welp, and alrighty are the first two. No explanation needed here, given I’ve already used both in a sentence.

Ain’t is in the dictionary, but ain’t in spellcheck.

Chile also isn’t in spellcheck. You know, …like “honey chile, this spellcheck ain’t working.”

Flib is another word spellcheck is sleeping on. Flib, flibbing, flibbed, flibbers is another of way of expressing lie, lying, lied, liars.

And this one; gonna. Gonna is short for ‘going to.’ Like why use two words when one will do? SPELLCHECK!

Surely everyone knows what happified means. In a sentence it can be written as, ‘she was looking all happified and whatnot.’ You know… she was looking really, really very silly.

And mathusa. Mathusa defines ancient. Far as I know mathusa is no such person. It’s just an expression I’ve heard elders say, and sounded out to spell out. You know… “How old is he?” Answer: “Chile, that man is old as mathusa.”
Talkaholic is simply one of the suffixy rooted words. Alcoholic, bookaholic, cookaholic… talkaholic. You get the point.

And Ugh! That’s the sound I make every time spellcheck flags words I’ve researched, checked and rechecked, but misses everything else. UGH!

Come to think on it, and this is for aspiring writers, you may want to consider writing exactly the way you (or your characters) speak…and spiff up your spellcheck too. Your stories will read more natural, and just maybe, perhaps, possibly your readers will thank you.

Happy Writing… and Reading.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Moral of a Story

Life really is simple. For that matter, so is storytelling, which explains this elongated post.

This post came to me in a fussy mix of happenings. 1) Father’s Day is Sunday. 2) I recently bought a hot comb, opened the box and thought WT…!?! 3) …just about when I looked up and saw this commercial on TV. So, double the WT…!?! 4) I also just finished reading three books…my thoughts here, here and here. And 5) …well, I’m a little delinquent on blogging.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

How to Pull Your Foot Out of Your Mouth

Speaking from experience, and not the previous post, I am familiar with pulling my feet (not only foot) out of my mouth. While I try not to make a habit of it, I don’t mind being wrong, which sort of makes me an expert at pulling my feet out of my mouth.

First thing’s first. We must learn not to take ourselves too seriously. You know… pull the shade some on the ego.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Phishy Phony People & Storytelling

The good Lord only knows how I wanted to start this post on an upbeat, spongey jovial note. Should all go well my good-natured intentions might still pull through…hopefully smelling like morning breeze fabric softener sheets... provided I don’t export clarity for brevity.

First is first. I already know. That title is not the greatest mood enhancer. It likely turned off 45 people from the get go and now only 42 are actually reading. You know how it goes… few are instinctively grabbed by flowery ‘How Sunshine Makes People Smile’ by-lines, as opposed to the eyeball-catching stuff, AND not that I intentionally crafted the heading to get a head-start on grabbing more readers.